Sunday, April 13, 2014

Frankenhooker (1990)



Frankenhooker (USA, 1990) - Color, Director(s): Frank Henenlotter
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 85 min.

Z-rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

Cheese Factor: 5 stars out of 5

How can you not love that video cover?! All the random body parts, science equipment, and the anti-drug slogan that reads "Winners Don't Smoke Super-Crack!"


After the fiancée of med school drop out Jeffrey Franken (played by James Lorinz) is torn apart by an automated lawn mower run amok, Franken salvages any pieces he can find in order to rebuild her. Naturally, he turns to working girls to fill in any necessary parts he's lacking. Jeffrey plans to collect their parts by supplying the prostitutes with a lethal version of crack that he engineers in his lab, ingeniously dubbed "Super Crack". After collecting all the parts he needs, all he needs to do is rebuild his fiancée. Oh, that and deal with their pimp, Zorro.


James Lorinz plays the perfect awkward, mumbling mad scientist. I love the intro credits where he's just scribbling notes over a diagram of a human body and mumbling to himself. This movie is pure cheese, I couldn't help laughing all through it. A brain with an eyeball in it is created for no reason, there are exploding hookers, and Franken drills directly into his own skull to stimulate his thought process! With a title like Frankenhooker, you really couldn't expect anything but total campy goodness.


Nudity: Tons! Franken needs to find the "right parts" to rebuild his fiancée, which gives him the perfect excuse to inspect multiple female bodies. There are also crazy purple Franken-tits for anyone looking for something a little... different.


Gore: As I mentioned, hooker do explode but there isn't much in the blood and guts department. There are definitely limbs all over (as you might've expected from a Franken-movie) but not a lot of the red stuff.


Awesome: to the MAX! I love cheesy, fun movies like this. Although some of what's happening on screen doesn't make any sense, they do a great job of creating an atmosphere where you'll just excuse the medical inaccuracies to have a good time. This trashy sleaze-fest would make a great double feature with Re-Animator or even in a triple feature along with Bride of Re-Animator!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)



Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (USA, 1988) - Color, Director(s): David DeCoteau
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 80 min.

Z-rating: 3 stars out of 5

Cheese Factor: 5 stars out of 5


Three supposed "frat boys" decide to sneak a peek at a sorority initiation (One of whom you might recognize as Stooge from Night of the Demons). After watching the initiates get paddled through a window, they decide to sneak inside the house for a closer look. This paddling scene is apparently what helped the film gain a cult status as it's one of the best spanking sessions in a mainstream film. Teen sex comedies such as Screwballs, Weird Science, Revenge of the Nerds, and the infamous Porky's was also a sprawling subgenre during the 80's with movies available via rental on VHS for enjoyment in the privacy of your own home.


After the boys are caught watching the girls shower, they're forced to go along with the initiates to steal a trophy from the bowling alley at the mall. They meet a girl named Spider (Linnea Quigley) that's also breaking into the mall, who helps them get into the bowling alley so they can steal a large bowling trophy. While goofing around they accidentally drop the trophy, breaking it open and releasing a wish-granting Imp.


The rest of the movie plays out like the classic story, The Monkey's Paw, where their wishes come at a price and eventually causes chaos. This movie is famous for being one of two horror films to feature legendary 80's Scream Queens (Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley, and Michelle Bauer) together in the same film, the other being Nightmare Sisters (both of which were directed by David DeCoteau). These three were eventually reunited once again in a recent project by DeCoteau titled, 1313: Cougar Cult.


Nudity: Tons! We see lots of bare breasts and even get a couple crotch shots during the shower scene. T&A was pretty common in 80's horror films but we actually get some full frontal nudity in this one. This movie definitely delivers in this department!


Gore: Pretty tame in this department though. There are scenes where heads are decapitated (even a gag where they bowl with Hal Havins' head) but there wasn't as much as blood and guts as you would find in a typical 80's slasher film. This was definitely more of a T&A flick.


Awesome: Cheesy to the MAX! This is definitely one of those films that you have to shut off your brain and just enjoy. The imp hardly ever moves and is never really scary, his mouth moves like he's a sock puppet. The acting is as cheesy as you'd expect from this kind of movie, this is low budget trashy cinema and I love it! One of Linnea Quigley's lines from this movie, "Yeah, it was... very stupid!" is sampled in Static-X's song "I'm With Stupid". This would go great in a B-movie double feature with Chopping Mall as part of an "Escape the Mall" themed horror night.