Thursday, October 24, 2013

Stake Land (2010)



Stake Land (USA, 2010) - Color, Director(s): Jim Mickle
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 15]
Approx. 98 min.

Z-rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

Cheese Factor: 1 stars out of 5


I'm really surprised this movie isn't a little more well-known. Zombies have saturated every media outlet from movies to books to video games and even TV shows, with the genre becoming extremely bloated. This is a slightly different take on the post-apocalyptic zombie story but with vampires instead. The premise is actually pretty similar to the 2009 film, Zombieland, only this isn't a Comedy. After a nasty outbreak has left civilization as we know it in shambles, a man and a young boy travel across the country together while trying not to be bitten by any of the roaming undead freaks. Sounds pretty much like both movies, but this one also has them encountering a crazy religious cult while they're actively hunting the vampires.

Zombieland had a zombie clown, here they kill Dracula Claus

A man known as "Mister" saves the kid when a vampire attacks his family in their barn. Mister takes him in and teaches him how to hunt vampires. They collect the fangs of vampires they kill because it can be traded for goods. Everything seems to be going well for them until they run into a crazy cult, called The Brotherhood, that believes God is "cleansing" the human population and they are "the chosen ones" that will be spared. They add a couple more people to their party when they pick up a nun, a pregnant girl (played by Danielle Harris from Halloween and the Hatchet series), and eventually a Marine that the cult left for dead. Together, they're trying to reach New Eden, a city that's supposedly a safe haven free of vampires. When they actually make it there, things seem a little too good to be true at first. Unfortunately, things don't stay safe at New Eden for very long.

Thanks to this jerk off...

These vampires don't think or talk, they act almost like zombies except they drink blood instead of eat flesh. I liked that the hunters had more than just vampires to worry about, since the cult actually plays a big part as central villains. By the end of the movie, you really begin to hate these crazy religious fanatics. They can't just leave everyone to live by their own means, they have to ruin things for everyone. They're not a cult in the sense that they want to see the world end, their philosophy is just either you're with them or you're against them. There's no middle ground even though these self-righteous bastards are also a bunch of rapists and sadists.


Nudity: Nothing good, I think the best nudity is from a deck of nude playing cards.


Gore: Vampires bite people, spewing blood all over, and the hunters stab the vamps with stakes. There aren't any guts spilled but there's plenty of the red stuff.  


Awesome: VERY!!! Like I always say, I love watching a professional work and Mister is one bad ass vampire hunter. The Brotherhood leaves him for dead at one point, with no weapons, surrounded by 4-5 vampires. I love the way he defends himself in that situation. If you're expecting Underworld or some kind of action-packed vampire slaying movie, you will be disappointed. Mister is just a hardcore vampire hunter who's very skilled but he's not Blade or anything crazy like that. This movie has a grim and serious tone that really works in its favor, really setting it apart from Zombieland. Great for a vampire hunting or post-apocalyptic marathon for the Halloween party!