Thursday, October 3, 2013

Body Bags (1993)

Body Bags (USA, 1993) - Color, Director(s): John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 91 min.

Z-rating: 3 stars out of 5

Cheese Factor: 3 stars out of 5

We're continuing Anthology Week here at Z-portal with a TV movie that was originally a pilot for a Showtime series. Unfortunately, Showtime pulled the plug and a series never materialized. That's a real shame though because there were a slew of horror directors involved in just this pilot and I'm sure, if given the chance, the show could've been the next Tales from the Crypt (or the first Masters of Horror!). Famed horror directors John Carpenter (Halloween, The Fog) and Tobe Hooper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist) share directing credits on this one, with Carpenter playing "The Coroner" which was like the Cryptkeeper for this series.

"I feel fabulous!"

There were other known horror directors that made cameo appearances such as Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street), Sam Raimi (Evil Dead), and even Roger Corman (Tales of Terror)! If picked up by Showtime, it would've been interesting to see what would've become of this series. Instead, we're left with only this single pilot episode that is little known outside of horror circles. Shout! Factory plans to give this a proper 2-disc release on Blu-ray in November (comes with a free poster while supplies last, so pre-order early!) 

There are three segments in this horror anthology. The first of which is titled, "The Gas Station" about a girl's first night on the job as a gas station attendee while she's being stalked by the guy from Revenge of the Nerds. The second segment, "Hair" is about a man who is obsessed with his balding head. He seeks the help of the scientist from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze who gives him a "special" hair treatment that's guaranteed to grow hair. The final segment, "Eye" is about Luke Skywalker pretending to be a human baseball player who loses his eye in a terrible car accident because he couldn't sense a deer on the road with the Force. After some quick surgery, his eye is replaced with a new one but he starts seeing some gruesome images leftover from the previous owner's memories.

Nudity: In the last segment, there's a possibly half naked girl crawling out of the ground but you really can't tell with all the dirt covering her. For the girls though, you get to see Luke Skywalker's ass for a brief moment.

Gore: Surprisingly not much gore. Sure, there's some blood and bodies on the table at the morgue but you don't see anyone get disemboweled or anything too gruesome. The most violent thing was probably some graffiti on a bathroom stall.

Awesome: Pretty awesome, especially for something that was only supposed to be a pilot for a bigger series. They went all out trying to impress, I'm really surprised that Showtime didn't greenlight this project. So many directors and stars were involved! I really think this could've been the series that Tales from the Crypt passes the torch to. Too bad we'll never know what would've become of this. Don't forget to pre-order your 2-disc Collector's Edition Blu-ray, coming November 12!