Saturday, April 20, 2013

Top 5 Stoner Films for 420!!!

Stoners rejoice!!! Tis 4/20 again and we would like to pay tribute to all our fellow potheads here at the Z-portal. As much as we enjoy mindless entertainment, we enjoy process of becoming mindless just the same!! All lovers of Mary Jane should already be familiar with names like Cheech and Chong, the comedy duo that pioneered the stoner comedy subgenre and have since become practically synonymous with pot smoking itself. I could make a list that consisted of just their films and could even dedicate an entire post to Cheech & Chong themselves. The same goes for another comedy duo by the names of Jay and Silent Bob, two characters penned by Kevin Smith. They appear in enough movies to be in a list of their own as well, so I'm leaving all of them off, along with most pot documentaries. For the sake of some fresh picks this year, we're going for the most entertaining films that haven't been brought up in every pot conversation since the 70's. So grab a bottle Visine, roll up a fattie, and enjoy this mind-numbing Top 5 list of Z-portal's favorite Stoner films:

5. Ted (2012) - A total stoner bromance, this movie is about a guy who likes to skip work and stay home to get baked with his teddy bear. At face value, this might come off as just a silly comedy about a talking teddy bear but the plot is more about two childhood friends that grew up together. Now their friendship is being tested as they make room for new responsibilities in life. Sure, it's not a straight up stoner movie but there's plenty of gags to keep you laughing if you're stoned. Not to mention it's written and directed by Seth MacFarlane, which means there's no shortage of 80's pop culture references. Definitely recommended for fans of Flash Gordon. After smoking a heavy indica, this is a good movie to sit back and enjoy a bit of couch lock with. Bong or a pipe would be good with this one.

4. Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004) - Yes, I'm sure this movie turns up on many lists of best stoner films but there's a reason for that. This perfectly follows the formula for a stoner film in my opinion. Two guys get baked and get the munchies. They have a craving for White Castle, so they set out on a mission to find some White Castle. Along the way is where they run into the adventure. Isn't that how EVERY pot story goes? You get stoned, get the munchies, and you make the mistake of leaving the house when something crazy happens to you. We've all been there. So hopefully you were smart and pre-purchased your grub this year. Go ahead and tear into your bag of Cheetos or Doritos because the munchies definitely should've set in by now. If you were really prepared, you would've picked up some burgers.

3. Your Highness (2011) - Alright, this one is a personal favorite of mine. I am a HUGE fan of the sword and sorcery genre, which could explain why I'm partial to this one. While not a full-on Scary Movie-style parody, this movie satirizes elements from sword and sorcery films while blending in stoner humor. An example is the old English that they speak in to sound more refined but every other word will be "fuck" or some variation of it. Even though it got buried by critics while it was playing in theaters, this rates very high on my list. One of my absolute favorites, I would say this is a good one to chuckle over with a group of friends after you're all high. After all the munchies, it might be time for a little recharge on that buzz you had goin'. For this movie though, you gotta smoke up with a bit of class. Break out the Hookah if ya got one! If not, your best pipe will do.

2. Half Baked (1998) - Dave Chappelle's tribute to the stoner culture, Half Baked is a classic for potheads. I hear this movie quoted and referenced more often than I care to remember. This movie also happens to be about a stoner who goes out for munchies and get caught up in a bunch of trouble. Only this guy lands himself in jail. Now his other 3 buddies must start selling pot to bail him out. There was no lack of star power behind this movie with cameos from Snoop Dogg, Bob Saget, and a ton of other famous faces. Also, who can forget the smoking session they have with "Billy Bong Thornton". Grab your favorite bong, fill it with ice, and gather your friends around... it's time to get BAKED!!!

Grandma's Boy (2006) - Finally, my pick for personal favorite stoner film goes to Grandma's Boy!!! This is easily one of the most quotable movies and it combines two of the best hobbies in the world: Getting high and playing Video Games!!! This video game tester gets kicked out of his apartment and has to move in with his grandmother and her roommates. Between helping around the house with chores and testing video games at work, he smokes a little pot to unwind. Since getting stoned and playing video games are a couple of my favorite hobbies, I can definitely relate to this movie on that level. With some seriously laugh out loud hilarious scenes and infinitely quotable dialogue, this is a stoner movie that ALL stoners should see. Load up the last of your herb into the bong and get ready to switch the Xbox or PS3 after this movie. You're going to want to play some fighting games with your buddies.

And that, was Z-portal's Top 5 picks for favorite stoner films. Like I said, I left off a lot of movies from this list and the top 3 movies honestly probably could've been in any order. I know a lot of stoners will be bummed for not seeing Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back or Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke. Those are milestoner movies, they'll always get the love they deserve. So will Dazed and Confused, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and Reefer Madness. The only movie that I do feel bad leaving off was Pineapple Express but I figured that would definitely come up in a search for stoner comedies. Perhaps one year, Z-portal can do a Top 420 list and include ALL these movies.

Marijuana use in Movies

Pot smoking is becoming more accepted in movies, from Craig T. Nelson rolling a joint in Poltergeist to Marlon Wayans being rolled INTO a joint in Scary Movie 2. As the public becomes more accepting of the medicinal uses of marijuana, we'll see it in more and more casual appearances. Sure, you'll have a movie like Evil Bong every once in awhile, where the entire movie revolves around pot and getting stoned. However, we're seeing more instances where weed isn't central to the story and it's just being casually smoked.

Idle Hands (1999) - Stoner/Horror/Comedy is I would best classify this movie. The central plot is about a kid whose hand becomes possessed and starts killing people. The kid is completely oblivious to all this and goes to get high with his buddies. I will admit that he has an awesome inhaler/pipe hanging from his neck that he smokes weed out of. I thought of converting my old inhalers into pipes but I wouldn't imagine the burning plastic tasting too good.

Leprechaun in the Hood (2000) - The fifth installment to the Leprechaun franchise sees our favorite homicidal Irish folklore go to the hood!!! There, he runs into Ice-T and smokes a joint with him. That's when our buddy Lep drops this little jingle on Ice-T:

"A friend with weed is a friend indeed, but a friend with gold is the best I'm told."

A friend indeed. What other shenanigans can you expect when there's a leprechaun in DA HOOD!!!

Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood (2003) - Not only does he go TO the hood, this leprechaun actually goes BACK as well. So this time, he's in a different hood with a different group of people. This group is just trying to hustle for money when they happen upon the leprechaun's gold. One of them is trying to sell drugs (marijuana) to get out of the hood. Another one of them is just a total stoner who trades in his share of the gold for a potato sack full of grass. The biggest twist comes when they need clovers to defeat the leprechaun and the pothead says he's been finding clovers in his weed.

Freddy vs. Jason (2003) - One of the first and one of the best crossover movies, this throwdown was EPIC for horror movie fans. Two slasher icons going head-to-head against each other. Everyone had their bets down for their favorite to win. Aside from a couple of stoners at the party they were having at the field, the scene that stands out most to me is when Freddy Krueger turns into that weird worm thing and blows smoke into the face of that Jay-wannabe pothead character. What happened to Silent Bob? Maybe he got killed back in the field by Jason.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) - On their way to Lynard Skynard concert, five youths pick up a mysterious hitchhiker that proceeds to blow her brains out inside of their van. Gravy! And so, begins the nightmare they are about to endure. So where were these kids coming from? Apparently, they just got back from Mexico with pinata full of marijuana. As if smoking pot wasn't a good enough reason to get you killed in a horror movie, this kids were trying to smuggle it!!! Guess who's not going to make it home at the end of this movie?

Friday the 13th (2009) - In the recent Friday the 13th reboot, a group of kids actually go LOOKING for Camp Crystal Lake. Are they the Scooby Doo gang trying to unravel the mystery of murders here? No, they're actually just a group of kids looking for the marijuana that supposed grows wild here. One of them actually stumbles onto the area where it's growing, only to get picked off by Jason himself. Ah, kids. What won't they do to get high?

Zombieland (2009) - Even after the zombie apocalypse, the stoners will roam the Earth. When our heroes make it to Bill Murray's house and are asked what he can get for them, we see that they want a big bowl of that sticky green bud. Of all the Earthly pleasures they could've asked for. This was just a quick scene but at least they do it big... out of a hookah! Ready the munchies cause after you watch this movie, you'll have a craving for Twinkies.

The Cabin in the Woods (2011) - Then more recently, we had a fantastic horror geek's wet dream in The Cabin in the Woods. A group of kids are headed up to an old cabin in the woods for vacation meanwhile, it seems as if their doom is being engineered. Sort of like a twisted version of the Truman Show, a group of scientists are trying to ensure that an ancient sacrificial ritual is carried out properly. The biggest wrench in their plans? A totally baked yet paranoid stoner that seems to think he's being watched. Problem is, he's absolutely right. This is one of those rare occasions where the pothead becomes the hero despite this not being a stoner film. Yeah!!! Maybe us potheads are finally getting a little respect around here. Not to mention he has that totally bad ass collapsible bong that turns into a coffee mug. This guy was totally awesome.

I hope everyone had a fun time reading this. I would like to wish everyone a Happy 420!!! Stay high, stay safe, and enjoy yourselves. I know there were tons of movies that didn't make the list, so go ahead and list your own personal Top 5 Stoner flicks in comments section. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to smoke a bowl myself. Cheers!