Sunday, November 4, 2012

Wrestlemaniac (2006)

Wrestlemaniac (USA, 2006) - Color, Director(s): Jesse Baget
MPAA Rating: NR
[UK: 15]
Approx. 75 min.

Z-rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars for failing in the wrestling aspect

Cheese Factor: 5 out of 5 stars for self aware cheese

From the title, you can probably guess that this movie is going to be terrible. And you would be right! Knowing this, I went into the movie with extremely low expectations. The story is that a group of people are in a van driving through Mexico to film a porno. They somehow end up where "El Mascarado" is and they start getting picked off one by one. There's some filler story in there somewhere too but as usual, no one cares. We're here to watch a masked Mexican wrestler kill people with his bare hands and rip their faces off after he defeats them. (Symbolic of removing the mask of a luchador and disgracing him after defeat) I would've LOVED this movie if it featured a character that performed deadly versions of wrestling moves. I think that's what everyone essentially expects from a movie like this but I was disappointed to find only very basic wrestling moves were used in this movie. I think I saw a backbreaker (unoriginal), bearhug, and a splash from the top of a barrel. I think it'd be hard to even find a clothesline or a drop kick.

The concept is pretty simple and easy to follow. The killer is played by Rey Mysterio Sr. (The uncle of Rey Mysterio Jr.) they finally figure out that the way to beat him is to remove HIS mask and then he can't show his face in public again. The problem is they can't overpower him so they have to find a weapon to use against him. This is the part that frustrates me the most, I think the first thing I would've picked up was a steel chair. Instead they go for a 2x4 with huge nails sticking out of one end. (That's not even a wrestling weapon!!) If they wanted the 2x4, they could've wrapped it barbed wire instead. They eventually all die and no one makes it out alive, don't bother seeing this one. You'll just be wasting your time.

Nudity: This was the typical horror formula of boobies and violence. There was a surprisingly lack of nudity for a couple of guys trying to film a porno. Not really a major complaint though because I was looking for the wrestling more than the nudity. 

The gore in the movie was simple, which I liked. I don't know if this movie would've had the budget to go all out in special effects, so I'd rather it be used sparingly than have it be poorly done. The parts when the wrestler rips off the faces is actually pretty gruesome and looks good.

She even touches the chair! What a tease...

Awesome: This movie really had the potential to be so much better. The only complaint that I really have is about the lack of actual wrestling moves in the movie. This definitely incorporated more Slasher elements than they did Pro Wrestling. For example, how they don't show the killer right away to help build suspense like the shark in Jaws. I liked that he had face nailed to his wall, that was pretty bad ass. Other than that, he's just a crazy ass wrestler that started killing people... why hasn't the police or anyone tried to stop him before? There's just a crazed, violent luchador on the loose and everyone just dismisses it as legend? Sure. Why not! If you like ridiculously outrageous movies where you just can't help but laugh when you think about the story, this one's for you.