Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Thinner (1996)

Thinner (USA, 1996) - Color, Director(s): Tom Holland
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 92 min.

Z-rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

B-factor: 1 out of 5 stars

First off, my apologies to all my readers for having been away. As stated in my last couple posts, my sister had recently passed away and I've been busy scrambling to get everything done in time for her ceremony. With that said, I look forward to a New Year with great interest and look forward to meeting a ton of new people. Thank you loyal readers who showed their support (Oli) during this time of need. But I'm back now, and I wanna talk about some New Year Resolutions. I know that during this time of year, gyms are busiest because they're packed with a bunch of fatties who resolved to lose some weight for New Years. The funny thing is that by mid-to-late Feb, most of these people would've given up on their resolution and begin staying home. Silly chubbies, didn't you know you can just piss of a Gypsy and have a curse put on you? Best diet ever... you can eat whatever you want and still lose the weight!!

Based on a novel by Stephen King, written under his pen name Richard Bachman, this movie begins with an obese lawyer defending a gangster in a case where he's being charged with putting a bounty on another man's head. Billy Halleck, who reminds me of Jiminy Glick doing his best "Dirty Harry" impression, gets the case thrown out. While driving home one night from a celebration dinner, his wife gets a little frisky in the front seat and helps herself to a little meaty Man-sausage. Well, as you probably already guessed, that story ends the way it always does... with one dead gypsy and an entire cover-up in the works. Wanting revenge for this fossil, that was trying run down while crossing the street, is her even more archaic father who puts a curse on each of the men responsible for the death of his daughter. Without spoiling what the other contestants got for their prize, our lucky protagonist gets to shed a few pounds with the patented on "Thinner" diet... um... curse. The pounds are just falling off this man and since there's so much of it to lose, this Gypsy curse actually seems like a good thing at first, until it doesn't stop. The pounds are dropping off by the dozen and poor Billy Helleck needs to eat insatiably in order to keep from just deteriorating away. (Oh god, the horror!!) Needless to say though, things start getting a little ridiculous and he goes in search of the gypsy to lift the curse because only the one that put it on may take it off. Unable to make a convince them on his own, he phones in the help of his new found gangster pal....

This Stephen King film scared the crap out of me as a kid, probably because I was quite pudgy myself. Either way, I found this to be a fitting movie to return on because of how relevant it was to the topic of New Years Resolutions and it also fit my horror focus. Anyone else up for some pie?

"Hey, punk, I thought I told you THIN crust..."

Nudity: Nothing good.

Gore: Used sparingly, not over-the-top but effective. The wife's face when she wakes up the morning after was always a freaky scene.

Awesome: Kinda. Probably not the best movie I've ever seen, but I thought it wasn't a terrible choice for me to get back into the groove of reviewing. I'll be back with more soon, good luck to all with your New Years Resolutions!!!


  1. no problem =)

    i enjoyed the fatsie remarks hehe

  2. @Oli, Thanks again. For everything =)

    @Sarah, Thanks for all the comments =)