Saturday, December 25, 2010

A Very Scary Christmas to All!!!

I would like to wish everyone a Very Scary Christmas. I had originally intended to review a bunch of films for Christmas this year but being a slacker, I ran out of time. So instead, I thought I'd just compile them into a list that you guys can check out and I'll just get around to actually reviewing each film individually at a later time. I hope everyone's enjoying their holidays!!

First up, I was going to review Jack Frost. This super cheesy B-movie is fun to watch as long as you know what you're getting into. Somewhere along the lines of a SyFy original movie, this cheesy B-horror is about a serial killer who is being moved when he dies in an accident involving a chemical spill. His body is melted into the snow and everyone assumes that he's dead, until his body reforms into a deranged mutant killer snowman. Back to wreak havoc in his new snowy body, he takes his revenge against those who let  him die.

Next up was going to be the sequel, Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman. Now, if you thought that the first movie was cheesy... you're going to LOVE this one. I don't remember the storyline exactly but he somehow ends up on a tropical island and, instead of melting like normal snow would, he sneaks around killing people nearly undetected. (I mean, who would ever suspect a killer snowman to be on a tropical island?) At least this time around, he actually looks like the picture on the cover.

For Christmas today, I was going to review Santa's Slay. Professional wrestler Bill Goldberg stars as a murderous Santa Claus who stalks and slashes "naughty" little boys and girls. (Okay, so I don't actually remember him picking his victims... he just kinda killed indiscriminately from what I remember) Watching a big, buff Santa Claus murder people makes me giggle like a little schoolgirl. Highly recommended for those looking to get into the holiday spirit.

And finally, since Canadians will be celebrating boxing day tomorrow, I was going to review Black Christmas. This Canadian horror flick falls perfectly into both of my themes for this month, Christmas Away from Home AND a Very Scary Christmas. A group of sorority sisters are receiving creepy phone calls by a mysterious stranger that is stalking them all around the house. Slowly, they're killed off one by one in this atmospheric Canadian slasher. Remade here in the States back in 2006, the American version felt more like one of those quickie MTV remakes. They tried to up the gore and use pretty young ladies to keep viewer interest peaked. (Totally falls flat compared to the original though)


Also, there were some movies that would definitely into the theme... except I haven't seen them myself. So instead of robbing all of you of these films, I decided to just link out to people who did review these films. Check out the following reviews from my friends over at Forced Viewing and also one from the super cool horror review site, Killer Reviews.

6 Films to Keep You Awake: The Christmas Tale -

Christmas Evil -

Elves -

Gingerdead Man -

Happy Holidays everyone!!!! I hope everybody was able to get into the spirit of this holiday season.

Friday, December 24, 2010

LAST DAY for Custom Cinema Sewer Books

I just wanted to inform anyone who didn't know, Robin Bougie will stop accepting requests for custom inside covers in January... so anyone who didn't get their books should go do so IMMEDIATELY!!!!! Unfortunately, I didn't have the foresight to tell everyone about this earlier because they would've made EXCELLENT stocking stuffers. (I know I would've jizzed in my pants!)

So just a heads up, LAST DAY to request a custom drawing on the inside cover will be Jan. 15, 2011. I know I would've loved one or both of these for Christmas.... *hint hint*

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (Canada, 2004) - Color, Director(s): Brett Sullivan
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 94 min.

Z-rating: 7 out of 10 stars

I'm sorry everyone for slacking off on writing reviews, I've had some family business to tend to but I'm back now that I've got a bit of down time. I picked this movie to review earlier on when I was looking for some foreign Christmas films to celebrate those who are spending Christmas Away from Home. I didn't remember there being anything related to Christmas in this film, so I popped it in for another viewing and there was hardly anything Christmas themed in this movie except for the snow and some Christmas decoration towards the end!!! I almost didn't want to review this movie because it wasn't really a Christmas movie but I figure that since we're doing a Very Scary Christmas instead now, I might as well review this movie since I watched it again.

Emily Perkins reprises her role as Brigitte Fitzgerald in this sequel to the Canadian werewolf/teen scream, Ginger Snaps. Four years after the events of the first movie, Bridgett is desperately trying to find a cure for the "disease" that claimed the life of her dear older sister and threatens to take over her life as well. She is also being stalked by another werewolf, who apparently wants to do the horizontal monster mash with her, forcing her to stay on the run constantly. After passing out in the snow, she awakens to find herself in a rehabilitation clinic/chronic care facility where she's currently being held under the suspicion that she's been abusing drugs. (Cause it's an all too common mistake to confuse little vials of purple liquid for smack) In actuality, she's really been shooting up with monkshood, also known as wolfsbane, which is said to be poisonous to werewolves. Trying to sneak around and hide the signs that she's slowly transforming into a mangy mutt by doing things like cutting off her pointed ears, she eventually draws the attention of an impressionable little girl nicknamed Ghost. Overhearing that the drug Brigitte has been shooting into her veins is called wolfsbane, Ghost retreats to her grandmother's room to retrieve her hidden comic book collection in order to do a little "research". After making the connection to Brigitte's condition, Ghost is on her like stink on shit and asking all the typical questions that curious young minds like to inquire. She is also paid a visit by a very friendly orderly, named Tyler, who offers to give her a quick fix and tells her to drop trou. Initially she tells him to fuck off but eventually comes around (they always do!) as they begin building a very beautiful working relationship where as long as he keeps the purple stuff flowing, she doesn't devour his liver by chewing a hole through his sternum. (Sounds like a fair trade to me, no?) All seems well in rehab-land but before you can say "sit, Rover", Ghost finds the head and mutilated remains of her beloved dog, Rocky, outside. (Play dead, Rocky. Good boy!) Seemingly devoured by a large beast of some sort, Brigitte realizes that the werewolf has found her and tries to escape the facility. With the help of Ghost, these two make their way to Ghost's old house with the Hellhound hot on their tails. (Man, talk about a dog with a bone... whooo, I am killing em tonight!) Unrelenting in his pursuit of her, Brigitte decides that she is done running and it's time to fight back...

Nudity: 2.5 out of 5. There is a VERY nice scene when they're escaping the clinic, they come across Tyler banging the cure into one of those strung out druggie chicks. (Luckily for us, she's the hot one) There is also a scene where a class full of girls shove their hands down their pants and start twiddling their twats in unison like an orchestra of violinists that all forgot their bows. That's pretty hot considering there's no explicit nudity shown in the second scene mentioned.

Gore: 3.5 out of 5. Pretty decent gore, though not a ton like you would find in say... Dog Soldiers. However, this is definitely rooted in horror genre so you can expect to see some quality blood spatter any time someone is mauled by the werewolf.

Awesome: Pretty awesome. I like the first one a little better because it had a better storyline. Even though I'm sure this sequel had a better budget for effects, the lack of Ginger (Katharine Isabelle) in this film deeply disturbs me. Not to take anything away Emily Perkins, she does great in this movie now that she finally gets her spot in the limelight. The first one just seemed more relevant to the growing pains that young teens experience rather than ending up in drug rehab, an experience that not everyone has the pleasure of enjoying.

Friday, December 17, 2010

A Very Scary Christmas - 2010

With Christmas less than 10 days away, we're going to switch things up a little here at the Z-portal. This month I was going for a "Christmas Away from Home" theme and, while I'll still try to suggest foreign films for those who are spending Christmas away from home, I'm going back to my roots in horror and I'm going to try to make this X-mas...

A Very Scary Christmas!!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Go (1999)

Go (USA, 1999) - Color, Director(s): Doug Liman
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 102 min.

Z-rating: 8.5 out of 10 stars

Nobody said that spending Christmas Away from Home always had to be a drag. Sometimes people are purposely away from home for Christmas, for example, to go to a rave or some sort of awesome party instead. There are some wild adventures out there that are just waiting to happen. This movie goes to show you that being away from home for Christmas might not always be the worst situation, just gotta make sure you watch out for those cars.

A pre-Dawn of the Dead remake Sarah Polley can be seen here as Ronna Martin, a cashier at a local grocery store. Offering to take a shift for her fellow co-worker Simon (Desmond Askew) so he can spend the weekend in Vegas, we find out that poor Ronna is in need of some quick cash because she is about to be evicted from her apartment. While working her extra shift, two guys walk in looking to score some ecstasy from Simon who is usually at the register. Desperate for the money, she tells the two guys that she'll take care of them all while planning to go over Simon's head and straight to his dealer. Katie Holmes plays her concerned friend who debates drug dealing etiquette with Ronna and tries to convince her not to step on anyone's toes. Ignoring her friend, Ronna decides to pay a visit to Simon's dealer (played by Timothy Olyphant who played a similar character in The Girl Next Door) to ask him to do her this one favor. What she doesn't know however is that he gives head before he gives favors and seeing as he doesn't even give his best friends head, the chances of her getting a favor are pretty fucking slim. Predictably, being a girl and everything, she's able to score the number of hits of ecstasy that the guys were looking to pick up. (Not before she's forced to take her shirt off and prove she's not wearing a wire or anything) After she scores the X, she goes to deliver to the guys that wanted to buy it but after getting there, things seem a little fishy. Figuring that something wasn't quite right, she goes to the bathroom and flushes all her pills down the toilet. She gets outta the house without being busted but now she has a bigger problem... she flushed all the product down the toilet but didn't get ANY money for it. Thinking fast, she runs out to a pharmacy and grabs a bunch of different pills to try to come close to the size and shape that Todd Gaines (the dealer) had. She ends up going back to his house to "return" the stuff (now replaced with allergy meds) and after he takes it all back without a fuss, she thinks she got off Scot-free and heads to a rave in progress to sell off the rest of her "thizz" pills. The Baby Tylenol pills don't fool Todd for long and, before you know it, he's hot on her heels and packing heat. Will Ronna get what's coming to her or will she escape once again?

Sounds like I've pretty much given you a rundown of this whole movie already but the beauty of this film is that the story unfolds Tarantino-style. Meaning that it's told in a non-linear fashion, and from multiple points-of-view, as the director takes some creative liberties with the story. The pacing of this film is pretty fast-paced and many have compared this to Tarantino's own Pulp Fiction. Despite many favorable comparisons, critics of this film have called it a "junior Pulp Fiction" as if to slam the film. I'll be the first to admit that this is no Pulp Fiction but I still loved this movie very much. There's still more to come in the movie including Simon's adventures with his friends in Vegas along with the backstory on those two guys that were trying to buy those ecstasy pills.

Nudity: 2 out of 5. You get to see some boobs while Simon is bedding two chicks from a wedding in Vegas, again later when he walks into a strip club, and then while he's getting a lapdance. Also, Sarah Polley takes her shirt off but you don't get to see anything

Gore: Other than some people getting shot, you don't really see too much blood or guts. I would give this a 0.5 out of 5

Awesome: VERY. There are people on both sides of the line, people who love it and those who hate it. I, for one, absolutely LOVE this movie and while I will admit that it can't really compete with Pulp Fiction in terms of sheer awesomeness, I still think this movie does a damn good job of interweaving its stories and presenting them in a very stylish and entertaining matter. I mean, sure it doesn't beat Pulp Fiction, but what movie really does? Pulp Fiction is one of those CLASSIC films that you're going to talk about for ages. "Go" is going to be one of those underrated films that someone will mention to you years from now, during a conversation about how GREAT of a movie Pulp Fiction was, and you're going to be stuck wondering to yourself why nobody ever told you about this movie earlier. Do yourself a favor and GO get your hands on a copy of this movie. GO!!!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

P2 (2007)

P2 (USA, 2007) - Color, Director(s): Franck Khalfoun
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 98 min.

Z-rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Talk about a nightmare at the office, continuing on with my "Christmas Away from Home" theme and being stuck at the office (à la Die Hard) this is an extreme example of what can go wrong while staying late at the office over Christmas break. This enticing and suspenseful thriller comes from a script that was put together by the power trio of Khalfoun (who also directed), Grégory Levasseur (who has also done work on movies like The Hills Have Eyes and High Tension), and Alexandre Aja (the famous goremeister director)

P2 is about a BEAUTIFUL girl named Angela (Rachel Nichols) who stays late at the office on Christmas Eve. She has plans to spend Christmas with her family and is just finishing up some last minute work at the office before heading home for dinner. Going to her car (in the underground parking lot at level P2, oOoOo), she realizes that it won't start and calls a cab. The creepy parking lot attendant isn't of much help with the car but offers to spend Christmas with her. When her cab arrives she finds herself locked in with no one left in the building to let her out, she's forced to go back down to the parking garage to look for some assistance. She's wandering around in the darkness looking for the parking lot attendant but before you can say "date rape", the guy jumps out of the shadows and chloroforms her. Waking up tied to a chair and now wearing a dress, she comes to with the creepy parking lot attendant, Thomas, tending to her and setting up a cozy dinner for two. Thomas goes on to explain that he's been watching her through the security cameras and has fallen in love with her despite her flaws. During her first escape attempt, Thomas takes a fork to the back as she frantically tries to scramble away before being stopped in her tracks by mean little rottweiler. Thomas ties her up once again and takes her down to a level where a drunken co-worker that hit on Angela at a part has been beaten and bound to a chair. In a display of his affection for her, Thomas plays judge and jury when sentencing this perpetrator to death. (by ramming him against the wall with a car and crushing him to death) Angela begs and pleads with Thomas to be set free but it doesn't look like this lonely parking lot attendant is ready to lose the love of his life so easily. So the beautiful Angela needs to step up to plate and take matters into her own hands if she ever wants to get home to see her family this Christmas...

What I really liked about this movie was that none of it seemed too far-fetched. Every desperate loser has been in a situation where we wish we could spend just ONE night with the girl of our dreams. Trust me, I've obsessed over enough pretty girls in my life to know that there are plenty of psycho guys out there hiding in the darkness like borderline stalkers watching from a distance. I'm usually the one cheering for the bad guys in the movies but in this film, I can almost sympathize with the antagonist. He wasn't some unstoppable and brutish masked-maniac fueled by pure evil and the overwhelming desire to kill, he was just your Average Joe who's been pining over a beautiful girl and would do just about ANYTHING to spend a little extra time with her. Perhaps he took his obsession a little too far and actually kidnapped her but that's what happens sometimes when you're a little on edge. Everyone needs a little love, even lonely parking lot attendants that stalk pretty girls via CCTV cameras.

Nudity: None but you get to see a lot of skin on the lovely Rachel Nichols when the parking lot attendant changes her into a tight white dress that shows off more of her body. She also runs around barefoot for almost all of the movie. The actress has a very pale complexion and I must say... I do looove pale skin.

Gore: 1 out of 5. Very minimal gore, this is more of a thriller than a horror so don't expect a lot of blood splattering or guts hanging out. The violence in this film is very satisfying and is only used to accentuate the story.

Awesome: This was, surprisingly, a very satisfying thriller. I would compare this movie to Red Eye in that both have very beautiful leading ladies in suspenseful roles and must overcome a single male stalker/antagonist. Neither were overly violent nor did they have to be. I would say I enjoyed both of them the same. Highly recommended for fans of Red Eye.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Die Hard (1988)

Die Hard (USA, 1988) - Color, Director(s): John McTiernan
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 131 min.

Z-rating: 8 out of 10 stars for entertaining violence and pure bad assery

Continuing with my "Christmas Away from Home" theme, one reason that people may not be able to spend Christmas at home might be because they have to stay late or put in a few extra hours at the office. Nobody likes to be held up at work, especially on Christmas Eve, but I'm sure everyone's glad that they're getting paid to be there and not being held against their will by a bunch of terrorists.

N.Y.P.D. cowboy John McClane (Bruce Willis) is in L.A. trying to settle things with his wife when the company Christmas party they're attending is hijacked by a bunch of terrorists. The takeover begins when McClane is in another room changing for the party. Although he is able to hear them enter and escape without being detected by the group, he forgets to put on his shoes and has to run around barefoot for a majority of the film as a result. Willis is fantastic in the role of the wisecracking, tough talking, vigilante bad ass that is John McClane. Starring opposite of Willis is Alan Rickman who, before playing Snape in the Harry Potter films, made his debut in this film as Hans Gruber, the ringleader of the terrorist cell in this quintessential action film. As he slowly dispatches of one terrorist after another, he makes his way through the building and throws the proverbial monkey wrench into the works. Their plan is revealed to be a charade, initially posing as terrorists with extremist goals to attract the attention of the local authorities but their agenda was to steal over $640 million in bearer bonds from the company. With minimal assistance from the authorities outside, John McClane takes matters into his own hands and attempts to stop these wannabe terrorists before they can make off with a ton of stolen money.

What a lot of people don't know about this movie is that it's actually based on a novel entitled, "Nothing Lasts Forever" that is actually a sequel to the book, "The Detective". The original book was also adapted into a feature length film, of the same title, starring Frank Sinatra. Although there's plenty of shooting, explosions, and excitement in this film... the first shot isn't fired until 18 minutes into it, so expect a little story with your action.

Nudity: Apparently there was a brief nude scene where a woman's breasts are shown but to be honest, it must've been so brief that I keep missing it.

Gore: Tons of blood from people getting shot but nothing really gory or visceral like you would find in a horror movie. There aren't too many graphic depictions of people getting shot but there are a couple scenes that show the spatter on the walls resulting from a gunshot.

Awesome: to the MAX!!!! This is one of the most famous action movies of all time and it definitely stands the test of time. This movie was so awesome that it spawned three sequels and a line of video games that chronicle the adventures of John McClane between or after the movies.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Twilight Sucks!!!

In honor of the Twilight DVD release, I would like to bash this crappy series for effectively ruining the good name of vampires and werewolves alike. Thanks for sissifying two of the greatest movie monsters that Hollywood had to offer. Vampires have been dark, mysterious, AND sexy ever since vampire lore began. They didn't need to queer it all up by throwing a bunch of MTV-approved pretty boys into the mix... vampires already had sex appeal. So in protest of this blatant perversion and outright defilement of two of my favorite childhood cinematic movie monsters, Z-portal is offering up a list of quality (Okay, you know that word has no real bearing on this blog) vampire and werewolf movies to watch instead of this Twilight crap:

What a bad ass...

The Lost Boys (1987) - Long before his days as Jack Bauer working for CTU, Kiefer Sutherland was a super bad ass vampire named David. Okay... so I realize that name doesn't exactly strike terror into the hearts of the innocent but believe me, the guy's a bad ass for sure. This movie is a perfect example of how you can make vampires relevant to the youth of its time but still keep the bad ass persona. (cause vampires are supposed to be bad ass, not a bunch of pussies!!!)

Vampires (1998) - Speaking of bad ass vampires, I have to mention Valek from John Carpenter's Vampires. While at a party is being held for a bunch of slayers celebrating their recent successul raid on a vampire's nest, this master vampire appears at their front door and proceeds to massacre everyone inside.

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) - One of my favorite vampire movies of all time, you'd be surprised half way through when this heist film suddenly becomes a vampire movie. (if you didn't know what kind of film it was before it started) Also, Cheech's appearance in the film as a barker is absolutely HILARIOUS!!!! Definitely one of my favorite films of all time.

Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl (2009) - Now, you can't tell me that's not sexy as hell. Some Japanese schoolgirl vampire? This movie can take two classic stories and combine them with a healthy dose of Japanese subcultures to create a satisfyingly quirky yet blood-soaked film that is uniquely entertaining. Making this a FANG-tastic entry into Japanese splatter cinema.

The Insatiable (2007) - Speaking of sexy though, this movie is like everyone guys' fantasy come true!!! (Okay, maybe just mine) Some guy is walking through an alley one day and happens upon a vampiress feeding on some random bum. Curious to her plight, he tracks her down and takes her captive. Begging her not to kill anymore, he tries to keep her as kind of a pet. She needs blood however and pleads for her freedom. Typical story of a guy so obsessed with a beautiful girl that he can't let her go. There's really an underlying love story I tell you.

Marebito (2004) - So if you think it'd be cool to have a vampire chick as a pet but maybe one that isn't as fiesta and always trying to run away, you might wanna check out this Japanese "vampire" movie. The reason "vampire" is in quotes like that is because you never really find out what she is. They never really confirm that she is one although all the signs make it obvious. (Blood drinking, vampire fangs, etc.) Some guy travels into some abandoned girl into some strange place where he finds her naked and chained to a rock or something. Sounds great, yeah? Although this is one of those foreign films with a strange ending that might leave some audiences unsatisfied. Interesting movie and the "vampire" girl is super cute. (She acts kinda like a cat!)

Interview with a Vampire (1994) - For those who think I'm only giving examples of female vampires with sex appeal, here's one with a young Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt with their fierce vampire eyes and pale complexions. Twilight isn't the first franchise to romanticize vampires, I know a lot of people hated Anne Rice for what she did to the vampire genre. Since I'm only looking at the films, I'm not sure how the books compare to one another. All I know is that when films were made of each author's work, Anne Rice's stuff came out darker and more brutal than Twilight could ever hope to be.

Queen of the Damned (2002) - Yet another film based on Anne Rice's work, this was also the last work of Aaliyah before the tragic accident which claimed her life. Although I hear this movie come under fire for a variety of reasons, you cannot deny that they were able to create a dark, mysterious, and sexy vampire in Lestat. He had the appeal to draw in his female victims and even sexed them up a little bit before going in for the kill!!! They were able to give these vampires sex appeal yet keep their dark image while weaving a tale of deception and betrayal. (Also, the guy was a freakin' rock star. That's what a vampire is more likely to do after living for so many years)

Fright Night (1985) - Despite being a cheesy B-movie, I still give this movie credit for being one of my favorite vampire movies from the '80s. There's just something about the different colors of slime that they use for the guy who melts away on the staircase. Even though the vampire in this movie isn't super handsome, I just felt like this movie is still a better vampire flick. This movie's awesome if you're into cheesy '80s cinema.

Mr. Vampire (1985) - This has been my favorite vampire movie since I was a kid. This movie started a wave of rip offs with bushy eyebrowed Taoist priests wearing yellow robes. A highly influential film, both on myself and our culture, this Chinese vampire film involves vampires of the hopping variety. This movie gets props for mixing magic, kung fu, and loads of comedy with kick ass vampire action. (Check out this film on my Top 10 Favorite Horror Movies List)

Underworld (2003) - Speaking of ass kicking though, we can't overlook Underworld. This is THE movie to prove that you can mix vampires and werewolves without either side losing even a fraction of their cool. Lucien is probably one of the coolest werewolves I've ever seen portrayed and Kate Beckinsale is ridiculously HOT as Selene. She's a fierce-eyed, gun-totin', bad ass vampiress that hunts werewolves. Even though I'll admit that the werewolf transformation scenes in this movie leaves much to be desired, I would MUCH rather watch this series over the Twilight for some serious vampire on werewolf action any day.

Dog Soldiers (2002) - For a movie with some more action and werewolves than Underworld, Dog Soldiers is about a band of British soldiers who are ambushed by a pack of werewolves during a routine field excercise. What follows is a hellish nightmare as they're holed up in an old house being hunted by a pack of soldiers turned lycanthrope. (Check out my review of it here)

An American Werewolf in London (1981) - Despite the movie itself being dated, it still features what is considered the best werewolf transformation scene ever filmed using practical special effects in cinematic history. This movie was remade as a kind of pseudo-sequel in An American Werewolf in Paris, which featured terrible CGI and is bashed by many to be a bad movie. I remember watching this remake and seeing boobs as a kid, so I have fond memories of that film. Although I will agree that the remake doesn't hold a candle to the original despite it being dated, Twilight doesn't hold a candle to either one of these films as far as werewolf stories go.

Ginger Snaps (2000) - The two Fitzgerald sisters are two dark, brooding, angst-ridden teens that are going through the trials and tribulations of womanhood. The lovely Katharine Isabelle plays Ginger, a young woman who gets her period for the first time and is promptly attacked by a werewolf. I felt like even though this movie tried to make werewolves relevant to a more youthful audience, they didn't have to water down the werewolf aspect of their story. In fact, the Fitzgerald sisters were already a couple of outcasts before Ginger is bitten by a werewolf. Their obsession with death and the macabre is what gives their characters depth and allowed for them to be more interesting than the MTV pretty boys that are shown without their shirts on to signify that they're not like the pasty white vampires.  

All in all, I guess I like ANY vampire/werewolf movie that isn't Twilight. I would've LOVED it if this is how it ended....

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Trailer for 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy

Once again, the guys over at Far East Films has the scoop on the 3D Sex and Zen movie. I posted a behind-the-scenes look at the production of this film back in August. How come cool ass shit like this never comes out here in the States? A movie like this might be worth investing in a 3D TV for, seeing as there's no way this movie's getting a theatrical release here. They also have the trailer up for this bad boy and I gotta say, this looks freakin AWESOME!!!! Blood, excitement, and boobies? We've got a winner, winner, chicken dinner... (that's even more relevant if you happen to speak Chinese)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Zomb'asians: Thongs of the Dead?!?

Awesome. Awesome to the fuckin MAX. I love zombies and I love Asians.... so Zomb'asians sounds like it should have my name written all over it. The super cool guys over at Far East Films has the scoop on this Hong Kong horror/action film.... in 3D!!!! (or "Triple D" as they prefer to advertise it)

I am extremely excited about this film cause the last Hong Kong zombie film that I can remember was Bio-Zombie, which I absolutely LOVED btw, but this comes with the promise of 3D bikini clad girls. (yay!)

This, along with Big Tits Zombie (also via Far East Films), are the two most anticipated foreign zombie films that I've heard of this year. Zomb'asians is currently in pre-production but I will definitely be keeping an eye out for any updates on this promising HK zombie film.

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl (2009)

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl (Japan, 2009) - Color, Director(s): Yoshihiro Nishimura & Naoyuki Tomomatsu
MPAA Rating: NR
[UK: 18]
Approx. 85 min.

Z-rating: 8 out of 10 stars for its stylized violence and Japanese sex appeal

No wonder I enjoyed this film so much!!! Director Yoshihiro Nishimura has done special effects work for films like Suicide Club, Sukeban Boy, and The Machine Girl while also having his hand in directing projects such as Meatball Machine and Tokyo Gore Police. Our other director, Naoyuki Tomomatsu, has directed slew of low-budget Japanese zombie films including one of my personal favorites, Stacy: Attack of the Schoolgirl Zombies. These guys have been involved in a TON of my favorite Japanese splatter films, so it's only natural that this film was right up my alley as well.

The movie opens with a couple wandering through the desert before they're stopped by three Frankenstein-looking girls. The vampire girl makes quick work of dispatching with all these girls before the intro cues and we flashback to the beginning of the story. An average student at a local Tokyo High School catches the eyes of both the most popular girl in school as well as the new transfer student. Apparently, it's Valentine's Day and it's customary in Japanese culture for a girl to give a boy chocolates to show her affection. After being forced to be in a relationship with the popular girl, seemingly against his will, he's pulled aside by the new transfer girl who presents him with a "special" chocolate that she handmade. After biting into it, he realizes what the "special" ingredient is... it's her blood!! Soon he begins to feel a little strange as he starts going through some changes. (No, not puberty... he's turning into a vampire smart ass)

As it turns out, the popular girl's father is also a mad scientist who claims to be the successor of Dr. Frankenstein that's attempting to continue his work of reanimating corpses. When the popular girl confronts the vampire girl, she is inadvertently killed during the struggle and is reanimated by her own father. And so begins the final showdown between Vampire Girl and Frankenstein Girl!!!

Nudity: None.

Gore: PLENTY. Within the first few minutes, three different girls are decapitated and their skulls completely stripped of skin. Throughout the film, there is no shortage of splatter as blood is spilled by the gallons and limbs fly all about. There is one disturbing gag about a Wrist Cutting Club where a group of girls get together regularly and cut themselves. This plays into the storyline later but is just plain disturbing in the beginning.

Awesome: Very. I love quirky Japanese cinema and this is no different. A play on high school movies with a supernatural twist, I really liked the clubs and cliques that they introduced. (Although I initially thought the "Super Dark Club" was borderline racist, I came to find that it's actually a subculture in Japan to dress that way. Apparently this brand of fashion is called Ganguro) With that being said, I have to say that the make-up will haunt you for a long time to come. This film is highly recommended for fans of The Machine Girl and Tokyo Gore Police. If you've seen any of the aforementioned films from these directors, you should know what to expect from this film. This is a really fun film and I would highly recommend it to anyone who is a fan of Japanese cinema.