Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Storm Warning (2007)


Storm Warning (Australia, 2007) - Color, Director(s): Jamie Blanks
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 86 min.

Z-rating: 7.5 out of 10 stars for realistic violence and gruesome brutality

Alright! My first review of a film from the land down under and, if there are any more like this, hopefully it won't be my last. This film from director Jamie Blanks (Urban Legend, Valentine) reminds me a bit of I Spit on Your Grave but without the rape scene in the beginning so the first half of this movie is a little slow. (She almost gets raped, she doesn't but she gets revenge on them anyway) Also, reminds me a bit of Deliverance in that it's about a boating trip gone wrong when they run into a bunch of backwoods hicks that have their way with them. Despite the slow first half, be warned that when this movie picks up its pace... it is unrelentingly brutal until the bitter end.

The film starts with a couple going on a boating/fishing trip but are accidentally caught in a violent storm and end up at a house inhabited by a family of sadistic backwoods hicks. When they first arrive at the house, no one was home so they just let themselves in to get out of the storm. They discover a shed full of marijuana out back but before they're done snooping around, the two boys of the family return home. (brandishing shotguns nonetheless!) After the initial confusion, the two owners of the house seemed a little surprised but somewhat understanding. (even going as far as to offer the use of their facilities and whatnot) Things aren't all they appear to be as the two good ol' boys steal the couple's clothes while they're in the shower. This leads to a confrontation and a brief moment of conflict arises between both parties before the two hicks get their way. While seeing the wife standing there half-naked, the boys ask for a little.... quid pro quo if ya know what I mean. (wink, wink... nudge, nudge) After forcing her to kill and cook a wallaby with a sadistic amount of glee, they take the couple out to the barn and are about to rape the girl when their father awakes. “Poppy”, as they call him, comes down to toss a beating to one of his sons and tells the couple that they'll be dealt with later. The moment that they're first left alone in the barn is the pivotal turning point of this movie. This marks the exact moment that the woman stops being a victim and takes matters into her own hands. First off, she booby traps her vagina in case those pig fucking yokels come back and try to violate her again. After setting up another trap for the barn, they lie in wait for one of them to return. When one of the sons comes back to kill the husband, they fire off the trap which launches a ton of razors, sharp objects, and fish hooks which embed deep into his face and hang him from the ceiling. She grabs his shotty and tries to blow him away but it's out of ammo. When he starts to pull his head out from the hooks, tearing large chunks out of his face along the way, she grabs a hammer and mercilessly bludgeons him to death. From here on out, the woman does all the work to save their ass while the husband limps around on his busted leg like a useless asshole. Without giving away too much of the rest of the movie, let's just say that the wife turns out to be a total savage. She seems like your typical naggy, annoying female character in horror movies toward the beginning but when the second half kicks in... she's pushed to the point of desperation and rises up to meet the challenge instead of crumpling under the pressure. But is her strong will alone enough to get them out of this crazy situation?

Nudity: Not much, the two sons ask for a good look at the wife's ass and she's got a pretty nice one. (If you're an ass man, it's worth checking out) Other than that, you can see her nipples poking out through her shirt but no other nudity that I can remember.

Gore: 5 out of 5. With how slow the first half of this film was, I was not expecting the surprising amount of violence that was going to occur in the second half of this film. There are only about 3 or 4 scenes of extreme violence or brutality, though it's not about the amount of violence but the quality of the scenes. The hammer bludgeoning scene was so effectively gut-wrenching that the boring first half was undoubtedly worth the wait.

Awesome: Pretty damn awesome. One thing I will say about the female character is that I liked how she was intelligent even when she was acting like a “helpless victim”. When asked to show her booty to the backwoods yokels, instead of freaking out and looking to the husband for help... she says that it's okay and gives into their demands to avoid drawing the ire of the two hillbillies. Her courage in the face of danger, intelligence, and savagery are the real stars of the film.