Saturday, October 30, 2010

Predators (2010)

Predators (USA, 2010) - Color, Director(s): Nimród Antal
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 107 min.

Z-rating: 10 out of 10 stars for being the most bad ass movie of the YEAR

Oh sweet lord of mercy, why the hell didn't I watch this when it was still out in theaters?!? Adrien Brody is one bad ass motherfucker in this movie. This is probably the most adrenaline-pumping, heart-pounding, action-packed movie of the YEAR!!! I know everyone, myself included, made a big hullabaloo about Inception. And why not? That movie was intelligent, thought-provoking, mind-bending, and extremely exciting to watch. But while assholes that just saw the movie prefer to stand around waxing poetically about how great a movie it was to have significantly altered their perception of reality in such a profound manner, I would much rather watch Brody and his ragtag band of warriors stomp a mudhole into some extraterrestrial ASS.

The film literally opens with Brody falling from the sky, he awakens to find himself in free fall and desperately tries to open his parachute but to no avail. Once in close enough proximity, the chute deploys automatically but still drops him hard onto the ground below. After regaining his composure, he happens upon Machete... or, I mean, Danny Trejo. Trejo plays a Mexican drug cartel enforcer by the name of Cuchillo, which is Spanish for knife. There's also an RUF officer, an death row inmate, a Spetsnaz solider, an Israeli sniper, some Yakuza guy, and a random doctor (Topher Grace). As they venture through the jungle in search of who brought them together and why, different situations cause bonds of trust and camaraderie to be deepen between some of the characters. After coming to a clearing and seeing the planets that lined the sky, they realize that they're not even on Earth anymore. Following the first attack wave of what appears to be a pack of alien hunting dogs, they also come to the conclusion that this planet must be some kind of game reserve and they're the ones being hunted. Will a band of the best killers on Earth be enough to ace the best hunters in the universe?

Perhaps with the help of Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne), they might be able to find a way to turn the tables on these intergalactic bounty hunters. The ensemble cast of characters makes the story rich and interesting as you find out a little about each person's past. Also, their penchant for violence are each distinct to their individual personalities. Best line in the movie comes when the inmate jumps on a Predator's back screaming, "Die, you space faggot!!" as he shanks him repeatedly. While this movie had its laughs, there were some genuinely creepy moments like when Trejo's character continues to call out for help even after the Sniper Girl puts him out of his misery. If you don't think being hunted by an advanced race of alien hunters is scary, then you're a better man than I am.

Nudity: None, wasn't even necessary.

Gore: Fantastic!!! People are blown to bits, multiple decapitations of multiple species, and one guy gets his entire spinal column ripped out of his back. Totally awesome....

Awesome: Without a doubt, the coolest movie of the year. That's saying a lot since it's going up against Machete, Piranha 3D, Inception, and Step Up 3D. (yeah RIGHT!!! Step Up 3D, my ass....) Predators is non-stop, jaw-dropping action all the way with scenes of intense combat. At one point, the Japanese Yakuza guy finds an ancient katana and actually has an old school duel with a Predator in an open field. How fucking bad ass IS that?

This is definitely one to get on Blu-Ray.


  1. Wow I am surprised this movie got rated so high. I thought it was going to be a dud like the other modern predator/alien movies. I guess I would need to get this on bluray after I get my new big screen TV.

  2. I saw this movie again on Blu-Ray at my sister's house and almost jizzed in my pants. This movie is so totally bad ass. EVERYONE should own this on Blu-Ray!!!