Saturday, September 25, 2010

Name that Quote!!!

"What is best in life?"

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women."


Friday, September 24, 2010

Netflix 1 Month Free Trials

October is comin up y'all!!! If you need to stock up on some horror movies before Halloween cause you're throwing a party and you don't already have a Netflix account (for all you cave people out there), drop me a comment if you want a free 1 month trial.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Twisted Toons and Awesome Animation

     Growing up on shows like Ren and Stimpy, Rocko's Modern Life, and Beavis and Butthead, I've always had a love for animation that was gross, disturbing, and a little erotic. (I got my first taste of erotic cartoons from Aeon Flux courtesy of MTV's Liquid Televsion.)

Being a kid, I was never taken out to events such as Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation... although I had always heard about them. I do remember having a best friend in elementary school that was really into Ren and Stimpy. Nickelodeon went through their disgusting cartoons phase during the '90s, beginning with the popularity of Ren and Stimpy and leading into other gross classics such as the aforementioned Rocko's Modern Life and Aaahh! Real Monsters. (Toilet humor was on the rise!!)

Being a kid, my favorite channel was Nickelodeon. But I also have early memories of watching some fucked up animation on MTV such as The Head, Aeon Flux, and of course.... Beavis and Butthead!!! (I also vaguely remember a show called The Brothers Grunt that was in the same vein as Beavis and Butthead but did very poorly in the ratings. The animation was pretty twisted though!)

While you'll find glimpses of super awesome animation from someone here in the States, the best of the best animation in the world comes from... JAPAN!!! (Yes, it's a personal opinion... feel free to debate if you feel differently!) But this article isn't being written to argue which country the best animation comes from, I've compiled a list of some of my favorite animated shorts, videos, TV shows, and movies to show that you can spice anything up with a bit of violence and nudity. (Even cartoons!!) Don't expect to find a bunch of Disney films on this list though, I'm trying to prove that cartoons aren't just for kids!!


Heavy Metal (1981) - A Canadian animated Sci-Fi/Fantasy anthology based on the popular American magazine of the same name. (Which was also originally based on a French magazine!) Compiled from several short stories, this film follows a strange glowing green orb as it goes around telling tales of Sci-Fi and Fantasy. Touching on a variety of genres, these tales included warrior women, zombies, and even magical creatures. AWESOME to the max. (This film spawned a sequel, Heavy Metal 2000, which despite its nudity and violence... was a garbage film that didn't need to be made. Avoid the sequel despite its appealing cover art!)

Ninja Scroll (1993) - Holy crap, the level of violence, gore, and nudity in this film was surprising. Perhaps I was just clueless to what I was in for, but it's rare to find such an awesome movie about ninjas that also contains a ton of nudity and gore. What stands out from my memory at this moment is a giant Stone Golem sucking some chick's ENTIRE tit into his mouth. Any movie that needs to be censored for violence and rape when being released in another country is alright by me.

Legend of the Overfiend (1989) - This Japanese OVA gained a ton of fame for being the first entry into the tentacle rape genre. This hentai/horror spins a tale about the unification of the human and demon realms which occurs once every 3,000 years. During this time, the "Chojin" or Overfiend (god of the gods) will rise. What ensues is a bunch of nudity, violence, gore, and graphic sexual depictions. The level of animation in this film blows away any animation I've seen coming out here in the States during this time. This film, along with others like Ninja Scroll and Akira, were some of the biggest players in the anime craze here in the States.

Beavis & Butthead Do America (1996) - This desert hallucination scene from the movie alone is worth the mention!!!


Happy Tree Friends - A Flash based web series by Mondo Mini Shows, featuring a bunch of cute little animal cartoon characters animated in a very child-like style. They talk cute and do cute things... until something goes wrong and they are violently injured, maimed, or killed. 

Joe Cartoon - With more Flash based animation, was a website that I stumbled onto during mid-to-late '99. Known for its crude humor and violent interactive flash animations, JoeCartoon featured animated shorts like Frog-in-a-Blender and Gerbil-in-a-Microwave. In 2006, a DVD collection of about 40 cartoons was released in North America but the website was shut down in 2010. Most but not all of the cartoons were moved to YouTube. (see link above)

Newgrounds - was the granddaddy site for me. A friend of mine from middle school hit me up to this site and I've been a major fan ever since!!! (Back then, it was all about Pico, FDA, Nene's Suicide, and other random little flash games. Also, hating on teletubbies!) NG is where I first found out about Happy Tree Friends and is probably how I got linked to Joecartoon. Lots of great stuff on this site, it was a treasure trove for a child exploring the internet for the first time. Thanks again Gary!!!


Heavy Metal + Cartoons FTW

Metalocalypse (2006-present) - An American animated TV series on Adult Swim, about a death metal band that is so insanely popular, people are willing to sign waivers in order to attend concerts. (The accidental maiming or killing of fans during shows is common practice) Products endorsed by this band immediately begin to outsell their competitors, usually to the point of bankruptcy. The dark and macabre themes, violent deaths, and hilarious antics in this show is totally what makes it AWESOME. Why do Metal and animation work so well together?

Korgoth of Barbaria (2009) - The pilot for this show is the greatest thing I'd ever seen in my life. The plot parodies Conan the Barbarian and the whole sword-and-sorcery genre. I've seen it over a dozen times and have shared it with many people who come over to my house. This type of animation and humor is right up my alley.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Gold Class Cinemas - Pasadena, CA

First off, Happy Birthday to ME!!!! I turned 24 today and what a day it was! Being a movie fanatic, where else would I be spending my birthday but a movie theater. This wasn't just any movie theater though. Today I had my first experience with....

Gold Class Cinemas is a chain of luxury movie theaters owned by Village Cinemas based out of Australia. These luxurious theaters feature reclining seats, an assortment of beverages and cocktails, and even a call button that summons a waitress or waiter to cater to you. There's nothing that even come close to being comparable to this experience. At $30 a pop, you'll feel it a little more than general admission tickets to normal theaters. Then you have to deal with all those other annoying people that you're rubbing elbows with the person in the seat next to yours. At least this way, you feel like you're getting what you paid for.

We saw The American (not my first choice) but was a decent movie in my opinion. I will admit that it was a bit of a "slow burn" film and you really must have the patience needed to follow a storyline. Anyone who is looking for an action movie should know that this is a drama and not a spy/espionage action thriller. What really made this movie for me was the experience.

After purchasing your tickets, the first landing spot that you hit is the lounge. Now, this lounge looks more like a chic new nightclub or bar... with a couple of beautiful girls to greet you and take you to your seats. They walk you to you assigned seat, explain the reclining function in their chairs and offer a pillow and/or blanket! They leave a menu for you to look through and whenever you're ready to order something from their wide selection of Appetizers, Entrees, Beverages and Cocktails. You can order food and wine and have an awesome night at the movies. I have to say that this was by far the most relaxing experience I've ever had at any movie theater. (Better than a spa any day!)

As I alluded to earlier, The American was a bit of a lackluster film. What made it worthwhile was being able to sit back in a recliner and have a beer with my movie. I'm surprised that I didn't fall asleep from being so comfortable in those seats. The theater was air-conditioned but their blankets were just enough to keep me warm cause I was in shorts. All in all, a GREAT experience!!! I look forward to any opportunity to go again.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Night of the Demons Remake

Night of the Demons was a cult horror movie from the late 80's. Extremely controversial at the time of its release, this nasty little film includes elements of graphic terror and violence. Subsequently, this film developed such a cult following and spawned two sequels. I rented the first two installments of this franchise from Netflix and I have to admit that I really didn't much care for the original on my first viewing. The sequel, Night of the Demons 2, is what really caught my attention as it was more graphic and violent than the original. (In one scene, the slutty girl in the school lets one of the boys feel her up.... but suddenly, clawed-hands come out of her boobs and grabs the guy's hands. Pretty fucked up!)

              (Restricted trailer courtesy of the guys at ShockTillYouDrop)

The remake looks like it keeps all the twisted gore and violence of the original, while updating the kids and the party scene for a younger generation. The original took a repeated viewing before it grew on me. After enjoying the sequel, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine regarding this franchise and was reminded of the sickening imagery in these films. Being a disgusting and disturbing cinema buff, I had to give the original another viewing for a chance to redeem itself. I'm not exactly sure what qualms I had about the film before, but I thoroughly enjoyed the film on a repeat viewing. The remake looks like it doesn't stray too far off the path of the original, while staying true to the disturbing content that really made the original. I'm looking forward to this film for Halloween more than Saw 3D. (Despite my LOVE of 3D movies)

Friday, September 10, 2010

Free Zombie Movie Triple Header

Night of the Living Dead (B&W, 1968) approx. 1 hr. 39 min. - We start this bitch off with the King of Zombie Movies. The original classic directed by George A Romero that redefined the term "zombie" and provided a design for how they would be depicted in the following years to come. This is the one that started it all...


Severed (Color, 2005) approx 1 hr. 35 min. - Next up, we have a B-movie with an environmental message. A group of tree hugging hippies spike one of the trees so construction workers can't cut them down. When a construction worker tries, the chainsaw bounces back and cuts into him. The sap from the tree mixes with his blood and he becomes a zombie!!!! Moral of the story? Don't trust hippies. Save a tree, cut down a hippie instead. (For best results, apply chainsaw) Not as bad as people say, this was one of my favorite zombie movies to come out after Dawn of the Dead remake.


The Rage (Color, 2007) approx 1 hr. 25 min. - Last but not least, we have a prime example of why CGI fuckin PISSES ME OFF!!!!!!! I am an avid supporter of actual physical and tangible special effects. This movie started off with so much promise, some of the best blood and gore effects I've seen in any zombie movie in a long time. Then the garbage CGI zombie vultures are so laughably bad that it completely reverses any awesomeness built up by the opening zombie scenes. Still worth a look for the good parts.


Thursday, September 9, 2010

Far East Films - Kaiju Month

Those of you who know me knows my birthday is this month but September is also...

It's almost too coincidental, since I've always been a fan of Kaiju films since I was a kid. Kaiju is a Japanese word that's often translated to mean "monster" in English and refers to the genre of live action monster movies to come out of Japan. (The most famous being Godzilla, of course)

I grew up on Godzilla films and have been a fan of giant monster movies from Japan my whole life. I almost feel like this is my birthday gift from the guys over at Far East Films. So far, they've reviewed:
Those are the only reviews that are up, to my knowledge at least, but I'm looking forward to seeing what other reviews they'll be putting up. So if you're like me... and guys in big, cheesy rubber suits really get your juices flowing... then go check out Far East Films and their Kaiju Month.

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen looks like it's Hong Kong's answer to the Green Hornet and a remake of Fist of Fury rolled into one. Looks like another martial arts epic from Donnie Yen, that man is a martial art movie making machine.This one looks a little dark and violent, I like that. Also, Anthony Wong (Ebola Syndrome, The Untold Story) is going to be in it. You can bet I'm gonna be on the prowl in video stores around Chinatown sometime in mid-October. Thanks for the scoop Kenny

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Centurion (2010)

Centurion (UK, 2010) - Color, Director(s): Neil Marshall
MPAA Rating: R
Approx. 97 min.

Z-rating: 8 out of 10 stars for bloody action, explicit gore, and violence.

The Romans are at war with the Picts in this barbaric and violent histodrama. The Picts with their guerilla warfare tactics raid a Roman outpost and take a Centurion, by the name of Quintus Dias, prisoner. The Ninth Legion, a band of the baddest and fightin'-est soldiers in Rome is given a HOT female scout/tracker and is dispatched to rescue Dias. After a successful rescue mission, The Ninth is caught in an ambush during their return. The Ninth is wiped out and their General is captured. Only seven men survive the slaughter and now must fight to get home.

Before you're thrown off by the poster, this is a live action movie. Lensed by director Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers, The Descent), this violent war drama contains graphic scenes of decapitations, dismemberment, and disembowelment. Even though there are some shots with some awesome scenery in the background, this is a brutal, nasty, and grim depiction of what kind of hell war is. From the same director that brought us Doomsday, expect more of the same type of gritty, stylized violence. (Definitely not for the squeamish or those with a weak constitution) I've heard this movie compared to Gladiator and 300... and while I dare say that this movie may be more violent than Gladiator, I don't get the feeling this movie is quite as epic as 300. However, fans of either of those films should definitely give this film a look-see.

Nudity: None that I can remember. Any nudity that would be in this movie, would be a brief shot of someone scrambling to get away during a raid or screaming for help. Not exactly a turn on.

Gore: 5 out of 5!! Much like Piranha before this... when I heard that Neil Marshall of the notorious Splat Pack was directing this movie... I knew that there was gonna be a ton of gore and violence packed into this movie. Little did I know I would be seeing heads getting hacked off with axes, cut in half by swords, and smashed against trees and exploding like they were watermelons. Very raw and brutal violence.

Awesome: Very. For some reason, it was lacking that "epic" feel that 300 had but is definitely worth watching. This movie makes up for what it lacks in the glitz and glamor department with brutality and graphic violence. One of the better sword-and-sandals adventures to come out in recent years. Highly recommended for fans of Gladiator, 300, Troy, and Braveheart. Go check it out... "or I'll have you FLOGGED!!!"

Monday, September 6, 2010

Machete (2010)

Machete (USA, 2010) - Color, Director(s): Robert Rodriguez & Ethan Maniquis
MPAA Rating: R
Approx. 105 min.

Z-rating: 10 out of 10 stars for violence, strong sexual content, adult humor, and total bad assery (bad assness?)

"You're telling me that Mexican day-laborer is a GOD DAMN FEDERALE?!"

Well, ex-Federale to be precise. This movie is about a man (or myth?) named Machete (Danny Trejo) who is setup to assassinate a Senator and is promptly double-crossed. Robert De Niro stars as Senator McLaughlin who is hellbent on sealing up the border between U.S. and Mexico in his campaign for re-election. In an attempt to sway voters, his aide (Jeff Fahey) bribes and sets up Machete in a plot to make illegal immigrants seem like a threat to national security. After getting shot and escaping arrest, Machete receives medical attention at a "friendly" hospital nearby. Fahey's goons catch up with him and seem to have the drop on him at the hospital... until Machete makes yet another daring escape that really must be seen to believe. On his mission for revenge, he enlists the help of the lovely Jessica Alba and the tough-as-nails but super sexy Michelle Rodriguez. The lines are drawn and both sides go to war, with Machete leading the revolution. How can you deny a movie that has a girl slide a cellphone out of her snatch within the first 10 minutes?

Yes... this movie's outrageous, over-the-top, and completely absurd. Yes... you can call it obscene, mindless filth that's filled with violence for the sake of violence. That's the whole point!!! Know exactly what you're getting into, this movie is supposed to be a throwback to old exploitation films of the past. There's supposed to be a ton of obscene, offensive material interlaced with a hearty dose of nudity. Any of you PC-fags who are easily offended should steer clear of this movie and let everyone else have their fun with it. (Especially those who are overly sensitive to race issues) That being said, anyone who loved both Grindhouse films should love this one as well. This movie may have overtaken Piranha 3D for my favorite movie of the summer. (Despite my obvious fetish for 3D movies)

Tit Factor: 3 out of 5. Being an exploitation film, nudity was to be expected. I was surprised to find that the movie isn't completely riddled with nudity. Although you do get to see Lindsay Lohan's boobs and she randomly dresses up like a nun for no apparent reason. (That should satisfy those of you who have a nun fetish... although I guess you don't see her boobs while she's dressed like a nun, so maybe not) This definitely loses to the 3D boobs in Piranha though. I think I only remember about 3 sets of tits in this movie... which definitely does not trump 3D nudity.

Gore: There was plenty of violence in this movie, but it wasn't as splatterific as say... Planet Terror was. (But that's a zombie movie so that's to be expected) There was a good amount of gore... just not a ridiculous amount. In my opinion, there was as much gore as needed. The story really didn't call for anymore. (Although I wouldn't have been the one to complain if they packed it full of gore and violence)

Awesome: to the MAX!!! Violence, nudity, adult humor. There's a luchador henchman, a nun with a gun, and Cheech Marin as a foul-mouthed priest. All boiling down to a showdown, where a katana-wielding Steven Seagal faces off with Machete wielding dual machetes. This is exactly the kind of outrageous yet awesome fight scene that trash film enthusiasts have wet dreams about!!! (Seagal goes out like a savage though... totally calm, cool, and collected) When this movie comes out on DVD, it's going right up on my shelf... next to the Grindhouse movies.

Marvel Zombies Fan Trailer

This week, we've got yet another fan made short... this time it's a nice little trailer for a Marvel Zombies movie. (Which would've been the coolest shit ever if they actually made it!!) I saw this one a few years back when I was bored at work and probably browsing MuchoSucko on the laptop at work. Hope you enjoy if you haven't seen it. 

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Street Fighter Fan Films

These are two fan films that I saw over at (visit link for more details on both films). By far, some of the coolest fan stuff I've ever seen.

I liked the effects in that one. Everything was very... clean looking.

I liked the the execution in that one. Friendly competition, classic Street Fighter moves, feels more like the game coming to life or me being sucked into it. Filmed on a modest budget of $400, it doesn't look as clean and smooth as the first.

The first one had better costumes and better special effects but the second one felt more satisfying to watch as a fan. (At least to me!!) I felt like they represented different aspects of the game... The first being more like a cut scene from story mode and the second was more like an actual match. Both, are totally sweet.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Cinema Sewer

Since I plugged those awesome Horror Tees, I can't believe that I didn't plug these books until now...

This book was used as the general template that I based this blog on. For those of you that don't know, Cinema Sewer is a magazine that focuses on classic adult films (pr0n) and old exploitation films. In 2007, FAB Press released a best-of compilation of the first 12 issues of this magazine. (Volume Two was released in 2008) Even though I am now a major fan of this publication, I have to admit that I'm pretty new to it and had to do a little research to find out more of the background on this magazine. These books are part of my original inspiration for this blog.

In fact, on a trip down to SoCal to visit my family... I brought both of these books to read for inspiration. I read an article about a mondo movie by the name of The Killing Of America in one of the books... calling it the greatest mondo films ever put together. This immediately sparked my interests since I'm a major fan of the original Faces of Death and a lot of the mondo documentaries that tried to cash in on its success. After I got home, I immediately rushed to the computer and began my search for this film. I checked around on Netflix, Rareflix, torrents... but had no luck. Right about this time, I went looking for a possible Twitter account or Facebook page for the author and found that he actually has a LiveJournal. I did a bit of browsing on his LJ, found that he was looking to trade some films and was lucky enough to actually have something he wanted. (I know, I couldn't believe my luck either!!) I contacted him on the email address that was listed on his LiveJournal (although if you picked up Volume Two of the Cinema Sewer book, his email address is also listed in there as well) And that, my friends, is how I got in contact with THE man... Robin Bougie

First off, let me say that I've only ever had contact with a celebrity two times in my life. The first was when I was a child and wrote a letter to my hero at the time, Jim Carrey, and received an autographed picture in the mail. I was extremely excited because I thought he had read my letter before sending me an autographed picture. Only after I sent him a second letter requesting a phone call on my birthday, and just getting another picture similar to the first, did I realize he probably wasn't really reading my letters.

Ok, so maybe Robin Bougie isn't some big shot like Jim Carrey so he probably has a little more time to answer all his emails and whatnot. But bigwig or not, if you don't have the time to stop and read something sent to you by a fan of yours... then you've forgotten what it was that really got you where you are. This guy has been nothing but humble and awesome.

After getting in touch with Robin, he was more than happy to trade movies with me. He asked me what I wanted in return for the movies and I mentioned that I was interested in seeing The Killing of America. Robin wrote me back telling me that he was going to send it to me because it was his favorite mondo film of all time. I also mentioned to him that I'm running this blog and he sent me some extra movies that I could watch then review for the blog!!! (How fuckin cool is that?!)

I was excited just for a chance to talk to Robin Bougie, but to actually trade movies with the guy was just unreal. I was so star-struck talking to this guy, I had to stop and process everything that was going on. (Though I'm sure I came off more like some moist-crotched groupie to the guy) I was ecstatic the day that I received his movies in the mail. He sent me 4 different movies wrapped in a little booklet that apparently sells for about $4. So not only did he trade me for a small collection of movies from different countries, he threw in a freebie as a bonus. (This guy is fuckin AWESOME!!!!)

So I am recommending that anyone who thinks they share the same taste in movies as I do... (Why else would anyone be reading this crap?) ... GO BUY THESE BOOKS!!!!!!!!!

They go for $20 each on his site. I realize that you can buy them for a little cheaper off but he'll draw a custom cover for the book if you buy it from him. That's better than just another crappy autograph... eh Jim? (I'm kidding, I cherish that autographed picture... Jim Carrey is still fuckin HILARIOUS... Robin's just cooler is all.)

Custom cover by The Bougieman himself

I double checked with the man himself to be sure that he still does the custom drawings and he has confirmed that he still does. The Bougieman also had this to say:

"The whole point of putting an hour of work into each drawing is to inspire people to buy the Cinema Sewer book directly from me -- not Amazon (where neither I or my publisher make any money), and to make said books into one-of-a-kind keepsakes. I love the idea that these personalized books can have a lot of personal value for their owners. That makes all the hours I put into the free drawings totally worth it."

So yes, support Robin Bougie and his love of movies. Sure, doing the magazine gives him an outlet for all this stuff... but it's a labor of love for the guy. He genuinely loves movies and wants to share what he knows with people. We're the ones getting to reap the benefits of all his hard work and knowledge. I would like to support him (and get my totally sweet custom drawing, of course!) so if anyone is seriously interested in the books but really can't afford to shell out the cash for it... leave me a comment or something and I'll give someone the copies I got off Amazon.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Upcoming Thai Martial Arts/Action Films

Raging Phoenix (2009) - Anyone who's into strong women beating people up should definitely give this film a gander!! Those of you that saw the Thai martial arts movie Chocolate (2008) got to see a debuting JeeJa Yanin showing off her Muay Thai prowess. We see her return in this film about a kidnapping/prostitution ring that tries to snatch her up until a trio of drunken Muay Thai/B-boy fighters come to her rescue. This fun, stylized Thai action/martial arts film incorporates breakdancing, Muay Thai, and drunken boxing. As a viewer, we do have to suspend a bit of logic when viewing this film. Some of the moves are so outrageous that it obviously only works because it's a choreographed fight scene and would never work IRL. Still, this movie is going for flashiness... not realism. So in that sense, this film was hugely successful and lots of fun to watch. Keep an eye out for this one as I'm sure it will be receiving a DVD release here in the States soon. Another thing I like about this movie is that Jeeja looks WAY hotter in this movie than she did in Chocolate. (This is a big plus for me cause she looks dead on this hot chick that I totally have a crush on!!) Check out the trailer for this baby:

Power Kids (2009) - [aka 5 huajai hero]  This is one movie that I've been waiting a long time to get a copy of. I first read about this movie a couple years back on Kung Fu Cinema, before it was going to come out. This martial arts movie involving a bunch of Muay Thai trained kids who are trying to save their friend's life and stop a group of terrorists at all cost. Living in Chinatown, you get access to all the best Chinese movies being imported from HK and whatnot.... but Thai films are a little difficult to come by. I've tried looking time and again at different video shops throughout my neighborhood, but the only thing I've come across recently was Ong Bak 3. I'll definitely be checking that movie out, but int he meantime... you can check out the trailer for Power Kids:


     In general, I prefer to watch things in their original audio with subs if available. Very rarely are movies and shows actually improved by dubbing it. (Usually, when something is successfully dubbed over... the dialogue is being altered for comedic effect)

     The best dubbing of any movie I've ever seen goes to Volcano High, which is the ONLY movie I know of that's only worth watching when dubbed. The reason is because this interesting little Korean film about a school of kids with magnificent fighting abilities (Sorta like X-men, only not everyone is a mutant... except some of the main characters) is dubbed by an all-star MTV cast of Snoop Dogg, Outkast, Lil Jon, Mya, Method Man, and others.

     These are just some old clips that I dug up of some Disney movies hilariously dubbed for lolz. I'm sure many of the people my age have seen a bunch of these as they was a pretty popular back in the day, but here are the best ones in case some of you missed them:

followed by this Cinderella one: