Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Piranha 3D (2010)


Piranha 3D (USA, 2010) - Color/3D, Director(s): Alexandre Aja
MPAA Rating: R
Approx. 89 min.

Z-rating: 10 out of 10 stars for adult humor, graphic violence, and strong sexual content.

This is the best movie of the summer!! Anyone who is into summer hit horror movies, go out and shell out the cash to see this movie in 3D right fuckin NOW!!! If you're looking for a fun, gory horror movie with plenty of sexy and beautiful young kids being torn to shreds, all with a hearty helping of T&A.... then this is the movie you all have been waiting for.

Plot: An earthquake opens a connecting passageway to an underground primordial lake, releasing thousands of hungry prehistoric piranha into the waters of Lake Victoria above. Meanwhile on the surface, it's Spring Break and hundreds of kids are in town to party!!! Can the local sheriff's department get to the kids before all hell breaks loose?

Director Alexandre Aja (The Hills Have Eyes, High Tension) is at the helm of this bloody 3D reboot of the original late 70's comedy/horror that parodied Jaws and similarly themed B-grade creature features. When I heard that Aja was involved in this remake, I knew that there was going to be something special about this movie. Aja is a member of the infamous Splat Pack, (a play on the famous group, the Rat Pack) a band of filmmakers, who usually work with lower budgets, that regularly clash with the MPAA over the ultra-violent content in their films. When I saw that Ving Rhames and Christopher Lloyd were also in the movie, as well as the promise young and sexy teenagers on Spring Break, I just knew that I had to see this bad boy. (Eli Roth also has a cameo spraying girls down in the wet T-shirt contest) This movie might have even managed to dethrone My Bloody Valentine 3D as my favorite 3D horror movie of all time. Although My Bloody Valentine was my first ever RealD movie, so I'm sure I was just impressed by the new 3D. This movie isn't as serious as My Bloody Valentine, this was a much more fun and satisfying movie. We all go to the theaters and pay our hard earned dollars (or what have you) so we can sit back and be entertained for a couple hours. If you're looking for a movie that's fun, bloody, and filled with plenty of nudity.... this provides all of that, in 3D!!!

These guys know how to make a movie that's worth the ticket price!

Nudity: 5 out of 5 for nudity in this one. There isn't any explicit sexual content, but there are plenty of boobs and ass shots. There's even an underwater scene where two porn stars swim around each other... fully nude. While lacking in any explicit content, the fact that this nudity is in 3D... makes it the best I've seen.

Gore: There was plenty of blood and graphic content to earn this bad boy a 4.5 out of 5 for the gore factor. Even though the scenes where people are being swarmed under water are a little difficult to make out any details of the piranha attacks but most of the graphic violence is in seeing the results of when people are pulled outta the water.

Awesome: Definitely. Totally nude, synchronized swimming. (3D boobies!!!) Delightfully crude humor. (guy's dicks getting bitten off) Crazy awesome gore. (Not so awesome CGI piranhas, but forgivable in this case because how awesome the movie is overall) All around good time.

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