Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Expendables (2010)


The Expendables (USA, 2010) - Color, Director(s): Sylvester Stallone
MPAA Rating: R
Approx. 103 min.

Z-rating: 8 out of 10 stars

First off, let me say that this movie instantly gets mad respect for bringing together such an unbelievable cast of pure muscle and masculinity. To see all of these guys on screen at the same time is enough to give anyone a man-gasm. (No homo) The best way I've heard it put is that this action epic stars an ensemble cast of the only men you're allowed to love. Just like The Forbidden Kingdom was every Kung Fu fanboy's wet dream, this is every kid that grew up idolizing action hero's fantasy come to life!!!

The story is about a band of highly skilled, muscle-bound mercenaries who call themselves the "Expendables". One of them goes bad and is cut from the team. The rest of the team is hired to assassinate the dictator of some island off South America but after scoping out the place, they gather enough intel to figure that the CIA was trying to set them up. Deciding that they want out, they're eventually betrayed by their ex-team member. Stallone gets a pang of conscience after leaving a woman behind. (What else could possibly tame this band of beasts? Why, pussy...of course!) The rest... is practically irrelevant... once the shooting starts. There are enough violent shootings, stabbings, and explosions to quench anyone's thirst for action. Stallone even hashes his differences out with his ex-teammate eventually... with a pistol. This is the movie that all these guys were born to star in.

At its core is a story about friendship, camaraderie, and brotherhood. Just being able to see all these guys doing what they do best was totally worth the ticket price alone. I gotta give mad propz to Sly for writing, directing, and starring in this awesome homage to action movies of yesteryear. Who else could've brought together so much star power?? (emphasis on the word power) Much like Forbidden Kingdom though, this movie also came about two decades too late. While I do give the guy all the credit in the world for pulling off what he did, I kinda feel like he should've gotten a real writer to write it. Not to take anything away from Mr. Stallone, he's good at what he does... no doubt. I just feel that despite all the anticipation and excitement I had for this movie, I had more fun watching The A-Team. I give this movie all the respect in the world and I will definitely need to own a copy for my collection when it comes out on DVD. The stars were there, the action was there, all the shooting and blowing shit up was there... I just feel like the movie could've used more jokes poking fun at the stars in the movie and their legacy. There were a few gags but I just feel like the story could've been more epic for the amount of talent driving this movie. I think they definitely could've also used more gore and OMG! moments or even heartier cans of whoop ass being opened.

All in all, a very enjoyable movie. I hope that this isn't the last of its kind. Keep an eye out for a cameo from the Nogueira brothers!

1 comment:

  1. "To see all of these guys on screen at the same time is enough to give anyone a man-gasm. (No homo) "

    LOL

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